


Always Mine

by jstabe



Series: No One Else Series [3]
Category: Jossverse
Genre: M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-28
Updated: 2004-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:11:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jstabe/pseuds/jstabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"I think so.  I hope so.  I’m yours, remember?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Mine

Xander walks home, humming to himself. Ok, so the mansion isn’t home but it will be. As soon as they can figure out how to tell the gang that they are...what? Xander frowns. He’s not sure what he and Angel are. In love? Oh yeah. And maybe it’s not the heart and flowers kind of love but that’s ok. This is deeper and more real than that. They belong to each other. No matter how they started, what they have now is binding and they both want it. Crave it. To say theirs is a unique relationship is putting it mildly.

Xander grins. Take today for instance; all has been quiet on the home front. He and Angel have been all lovey-dovey and have been making with the sweet hot love. Which is all well and good but now Xander is chafing; itching with some need he still can’t name. So he’s late. Very late. And he hasn’t called.

Angel has been pacing the floor for the last hour. Xander is late and it’s not dark enough for Angel to go looking for him. He catches a familiar scent and sags with relief; Xander is coming up the walk. Relief makes way for anger and he’s leaning against the mantle, arms crossed over his chest, when Xander walks through the door.

The first thing Xander sees when he gets inside is his lover. Angel is always beautiful but when he’s angry there is a feral quality to the beauty that takes Xander’s breath away.

“Where have you been?”

That’s one of the things Xander cherishes; Angel never punishes him without letting Xander explain first. And he never punishes him for things that Xander has no control over.

“At the Bronze. I went with some friends and lost track of time.”

But he _will_ punish Xander for being thoughtless or disrespectful. Xander knows this and that’s why he chose that particular explanation. He knows it will get him the punishment he craves.

“Strip.”

Xander does then stands and waits quietly for Angel’s next command. Angel sits down on the couch and pats his thighs. In an instant, Xander is draped over Angel’s lap. A big hand strokes his bottom and Xander shivers.

“What time does school end, boy?”

“Three o’clock.”

“And what time are you supposed to be home?”

“Four o’clock unless I’ve called to let you know where I’m going and when I’ll be home.”

“Hmm. Certainly sounds like you know the rules, baby. So I have to assume that you broke them on purpose.”

Xander is smart enough not to admit _that_ ; he wants a spanking not a beating. “No, Daddy. I was just having fun and I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“All right, Xander. However, you are late. Over two hours late. You can plan on not sitting down for a good long time. Oh, and don’t even think about coming any time in the near future.”

Xander jumps at the first smack of Angel’s hand on his naked backside. Angel certainly knows what he’s doing and soon Xander’s butt is bright red. Xander squirms under Angel’s hand and the slaps come harder. By the time Angel is finished, Xander is sobbing and his cock is aching for relief.

“On your knees, baby.”

Xander obeys immediately and is soon rewarded with Angel’s large slick cock sliding into him. He moans and pushes back at Angel, taking every inch deep inside him.

* * *

Willow heads to the mansion’s front door. She’s a little leery about talking with Angel alone; it hasn’t been that long since Angelus was free. But she’s worried about Buffy and since she’s the best friend it’s her job to make sure that things are ok between Buffy and Angel. She’s about to knock when a loud moan breaks the silence. With a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, she moves to one of the front windows and peers inside. What she sees makes her stomach heave and tears fall unchecked down her cheeks. Xander is on his hands and knees on the floor with Angel behind him. With a little cry of horror, she backs away from the window.

“Angelus.”

She turns and runs down the walk, promising Xander over and over that she’ll bring help, and praying that they won’t be too late.

* * *

Angel and Xander lay quietly on the couch. Every so often Xander squirms as he tries to get comfortable. Angel laughs and that earns him a dark glower from his lover.

“Problem, baby?”

“Don’t try that innocent look on me, Angel. You know what my problem is.”

“And I should reward bad behavior by letting you come just so I can nap in peace?”

Xander sighs. This was all his idea after all. He’ll just have to suck it up. Besides, Angel always makes it up to him-eventually.

“Come on. It’s time I made dinner. You must be hungry.”

Reluctantly they dress. They are about to head into the kitchen when the front door flies open and Buffy rushes in. She’s armed with a crossbow and Giles and Willow aren’t far behind her.

Angel pushes Xander behind him, shielding him with his body. He sees that the threat is Buffy and almost relaxes until he notices that the crossbow is aimed directly at his heart.

“Buffy? What’s going on?”

“Let him go, Angelus.”

Angel and Xander share a look.

“Xander, it’s ok. We’re here to help.” Willow is crying and it tears at Xander’s heart.

“Will? Why are you crying? And what do you mean, help?”

“We know Angelus is back, Xander. Willow came by earlier. She saw...well it doesn’t matter what she saw. We’re here to rescue you.”

Xander frowns in concentration then freezes. Willow was here and saw him with Angel. He blushes furiously. Xander steps around Angel and faces Buffy.

“Buffy, you can put that down. Please. He’s not Angelus. And you don’t need to rescue me. I’m fine.”

“But Willow saw...”

“I know what she saw but it isn’t what you think.”

Buffy is starting to get an awful idea. She stomps on it firmly and looks at Xander. “She saw Angelus raping you. Now tell me how that could be misinterpreted.”

“Angel wasn’t raping me.”

Baldly stated and it confirms the awful idea Buffy has had since she first saw Angel’s protectiveness of Xander. Little things begin to click, things she’s noticed since Angel came back but not really wanted to see. She looks at Angel and feels her heart freeze. Because he’s looking at Xander in the way he used to look at her. Her heart breaks and later she’ll pick up the pieces but right now she just wants them to be as miserable as she is. She glares at Xander.

“How long have you been fucking my boyfriend behind my back?”

Angel steps forward but Xander stops him with a hand on his arm. Buffy has every right to be upset.

“It’s not what you think. Angel and I...”

“Oh spare me! I can’t believe you’d do this to me. All those times you spouted off about Angel being evil and wanting me to stay away from him. It wasn’t because you wanted me. It’s because you wanted him for yourself.”

“Buffy, that’s not true. Ok, so the whole ranting about Angel being evil is true but I didn’t do it because I wanted him.”

“Whatever. You’re disgusting. I thought you were my friend, Xander, but you’re nothing but a lying little sneak.”

For some reason, that sends Xander over the edge. “You don’t know anything. I never went behind your back. I didn’t have to. You never paid enough attention to me to know what I was doing. I never wanted this with Angel.” He doesn’t see Angel flinch at the cruel words. “You want to know what this is about? You want to hear how this started with Angelus when you wouldn’t kill him? You want to know all the sordid little details? Want to hear about how I bent over every night for Angelus just to keep us all alive? Want to hear about what it feels like to be raped by a demon? Want to hear about how it makes you feel when you’re bleeding and in pain and broken and **your friends don’t even notice**?”

By this time, Willow is sobbing brokenly and Giles’ face is pinched and white. Even Buffy looks shocked. But it’s Angel’s pain-wracked face that grabs and holds Xander’s attention and he suddenly realizes what he said.

“Oh God. Angel, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean that.”

Angel smiles but it’s forced and they both know it. Xander steps up to Angel and puts a gentle hand on his face.

“We both know how this started. And we both know what we have now. You hurt me in the beginning and I didn’t want that; that’s no lie. It doesn’t change how I feel about you now.”

“I know that, baby. Just like I know that I can’t ever change what happened between us then. I don’t have to like remembering those early days.”

Willow is so confused that her stomach is doing flip-flops; the things Xander said were so horrible but there’s such softness in the way he’s looking at Angel now. Giles is more familiar with vampires and their habits and he’s not shocked at what they are learning; he’s disgusted with himself, though, for never noticing and doing something to help Xander. Guilt keeps him quiet. Buffy sees the tender exchange and the all the emotion behind it. She’s over the shock now and back into hurt-them-like-they’ve-hurt-you mode. She stiffens her spine and refuses to let the tears fall.

“Well isn’t that sweet? Cuddling up to your rapist. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If Angelus actually raped you at all? Because if he did, and you can be like that with Angel now, then you are sick. Sick and disgusting and depraved.”

A low warning growl and Angel is moving towards her. Giles steps forward and puts a hand on Buffy’s arm. “Enough. Buffy that is quite enough. It’s obvious that we are neither needed nor wanted here. I think it’s time for us to go.”

Buffy shakes off Giles’ hand and is out the door before anyone else can speak. Willow wants to speak to Xander but the ominous look on Angel’s face tells her that now isn’t the time. Meekly, she follows Giles out of the mansion. Angel watches them go then turns to Xander. His heart breaks at the abject misery on the young man’s face.

“She’s right, isn’t she? I am sick and depraved.”

Angel is across the room in seconds, pulling his shaking boy to him. “Don’t ever think that, Xander. There is nothing wrong with you.”

“But there is. There has to be. If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t like the things we do. Not the sex stuff but the other stuff.”

“Xander listen to me.”

But Xander pushes out of Angel’s embrace and begins to pace. “I don’t understand it. I never did. We shouldn’t be together. We shouldn’t be able to be after what happened. I’m glad we are, I am. But I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why I like it when you hurt me.”

Angel’s gut clenches as he feels his boy slipping away from him. “Xander, please. Don’t do this. Don’t let Buffy ruin us. We’re fine. A lot of people have relationships like ours. Ok, not exactly like ours, but the submissive thing is hardly something we’ve invented.”

Xander knows that. In his heart, where it matters, he knows that. Knows that Angel loves him, knows that Angelus loves him but right now all he can see is Buffy’s face. All he can hear is Buffy’s voice.

“I need to go. I have to go now. I just need to think.”

“Xander please. Don’t do this. Don’t leave like this. I love you.”

Xander smiles the sweetest saddest smile Angel has ever seen. “I know. I love you too. But right now I need to sort some things out.”

“Will you be back?” Angel’s voice is choked with tears and Xander blinks back tears of his own.

“I think so. I hope so. I’m yours, remember?”

Angel swallows hard. “Always mine, baby boy. Always mine.”

He can’t watch as Xander grabs his backpack and heads out into the waning sunshine.


End file.
